| so deep that it didnt bleed and catch me |
|
|
| 10:14pm 12/02/2005 |
| |
mood:  blah music: so deep that i didnt even scream FUCK ME
|
my neck hurts.. me and heather got hit on the highway yesterday. and the car was fine. but dayum my head hurts.
in other news:
~i don't get you. you say you hate this kid because he
smokes all the time and never pays attention to you so you break up.
and then you start smoking everyday. not that i have a problem with
people smoking, but its changing you and your fucking up. seriously. maybe if i say something to you you'll understand, or you'll just blow me off like your doing to mat. idk..
~CONGATULATIONS TO BRI !!! WEATONES RULE :) AND YOUR BOMB DIGGITY.
~adam asked me to his prom. im excited. i dont mean to blow him off,
idk. i just idk. its weird, like i want to hang out with him, but i
cant bring myself to. its weird. AND he got me a valentines day present
so im pretty phyched. and im gonna get him one!
~i feel bad for mat. he puts up with a lot of shit. :) i love him.
~i have a car and nothing to do. call me.
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
| i feel like throwing up |
|
|
| 02:48pm 03/02/2005 |
| |
mood:  crushed music: screaming infidelities.
|
so i could be missing out. i just told him its too late, and that if he wants to wait and see what happens thats okay too. i just dont know. no ones ever said what he said and i dont htink anyone else will. but im still hurt from all the other times. you know, when i was ignored. he knew how i felt, and then i stopped feeling it. and NOW he tells me!??! what sence does that make. its ballsy to tell me though. i dunno, but i think i just lost someone special...? |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| ... werd ... |
|
|
| 10:19pm 02/02/2005 |
| |
mood:  confused music: its hard to say that i was wrong its hard to say i miss you
|
so after all this time (eight years), he likes me. and he admitted it. and it was great. and wonderful. but now i dont know if i feel the same way. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| you've got this silly way, of keeping me on the edge of my seat |
|
|
| 10:13pm 07/01/2005 |
| |
mood:  curious music: im trying to keep my cool i know it shows
|
i hate thinking about the past, but i do it all the time. i mean if this didnt happend would we have worked out? or would i still be who i am if that didnt happen. i dunno its weird. and then i just kinda get sad, and sit here for a while thinking, and thinking, and thinking. i swear im gonna think myself to death one day. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| ...i feel like i.. am all alone... |
|
|
| 10:51pm 22/12/2004 |
| |
mood:  angry music: ..my words are cold.. ..i dont want them to hurt you..
|
everything sucks. i hope everyone reads this. im mad at the world. not the world just some people need to be considerate of me and my feelings. i am a good person. i dont care what anyone says. i do a lot for people and i dont ever feel like anyone notices. i just wish i could be mean. im trying so hard to bite my tongue and its just not working. and i feel like crying all the time because i just dont have anyone. and i cant keep holding it in. and so what if i do suck. at least you have people like me that will listen and actually care. forget it. its pointless to complain. it gets you no where. all that happends is people think your a whiney idiot so why bother. and dont even say you can relate. because you cant. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| ! |
|
|
| 10:50pm 10/11/2004 |
| |
mood:  sad music: i feel like i am all alone, all by myself
|
i wish everyone felt the way i feel right now. feeling like all you want to do is cry, i mean im sure you feel that way. but it sucks when you feel that way all the time. when no one cares. you have no friends. the only way you stay sane is to work. your mom yells at you and says fuck you to you telling you how you dont apprieciate her. yeah think about it. not having anyone, no one. all the time. i mean everyone has someone. a best friend, a boyfriend. wheres mine? i got in a huge fight with my mom the other day and i was hysterically crying and you know what? i had NO WHERE to go. and it sucks. so dont ever make anyone feel left out. because it sucks. and i dont know why but all the sudden im angry and im like hating hte world. i hate it! i hate being mad sad angry lonely and depressed. i hate it. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 12:24am 06/11/2004 |
| |
I AM: sarah I WANT: to fall in love I HAVE: two had more older sisters I WISH: people were happier all the time I HATE: when my mom smokes I MISS: the way everything used to be I FEAR: that one day, it'll be too late to stop whats going on now I HEAR: swearing isnt cool I SEARCH: for myself on a daily basis I WONDER: why things chamge so much I REGRET: hurting the people that i care abouu I LOVE: being alive I ACHE: in my heart I AM NOT: stupid I DANCE: when no one is watching I SING: mostly in the shower I CRY: all the time I AM NOT ALWAYS: perfect I WRITE: a lot of good papers I CONFUSE: the difference between right and wrong I NEED: to stop working so much and get a real life I SHOULD: get motivated for school x. father thinks i am: I'M NOT SURE, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE I WAS 6 x. mother thinks i am: A GOOD KID BUT HAVE A BAD ATTITDE x. three things you are often complimented for: MY HAIR, MY EARINGS, AND MY BIG BUM x. you get embarrassed when: I MAKE CORNY JOKES x. makes you happy: WORKING x. upsets you: MY PARENTS yes or no... x. you keep a diary: YES (LIVEJOURNAL) x. you like to cook: NO x. you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: YES x. you set your watch a few minutes ahead: NO x. you bite your fingernails: YES x. you believe in love: YES
2. Do You...? take a shower everyday: NO SOMETIMES I JUST DONT HAVE TIME have a(any) crush(es): YES think you know you've been in love: NO want to get married: YES have any tattoos/where: NO piercings/where?: EARS get motion sickness: NO think you're a health freak: NO get along with your parents: NO like thunderstorms: YES |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| ... |
|
|
| 09:57pm 02/11/2004 |
| |
mood:  frustrated music: who knows wat could happen do wat u do just keep on laughing
|
sometimes i feel wickid alone. i dont think anyone gets me. i wish i had someone to talk to. someone to understand. but instead it feels like veryones fighting me. they are all in their own worlds. they dont have time to care. its funny how i can care about everyone else, but noone can care about me. it sucks to tell you the truth. ever since i read catcher in the rye, i feel like swearing all the time. anyway. i like talking to proulx. its weird how he understands. i think everyone should be more like proulx. i mean think like him. it would do you all some good. no offence. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| so long |
|
|
| 03:59pm 24/10/2004 |
| |
mood:  blah music: together, it doesn't seem right at all
|
it's been so long since i updated. a lots been going on. i've been working so much. im getting promoted though. to crew trainer! sounds great huh? i should just become manager, and skip crew trainer.
a lot of crap has been making me upset lately. i mean people more or less. they just dont get it. not that anyone would, no one ever does. but every once in a while i wish people were more conciderate.. i kinda feel like bri right now lol..
i still like him. yep. you guessed it. even after all this crap. i dunno what it is? maybe i just need someone. i mean he's not the only one i like. but he's always on my mind.
so long
catch you on the fl!p s!de
p.s. i really like avril lavignes cd. the new one and the old. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| masterbation |
|
|
| 09:24pm 04/10/2004 |
| |
mood:  creative music: just bend the peicces til they fit
|
you wish you could see what used to be here before i edited |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| here |
|
|
| 10:47pm 30/09/2004 |
| |
mood:  creative music: all the stuff that you do
|
.Firsts. First best friend: Ayla First date: jon aleaxander freshman year First real kiss: jon alexander freshman year First screen name: …sassysoulsistah maybe? lol ive had a billion. First self purchased CD: no clue, but my first one was brittany First pets: spike.. he was a beagle First piercing/tattoo: ears First musician you remember hearing in your house: TLC haha .LASTS. Last cigarette: never Last car ride: a half hour ago Last kiss: heh.. in the summer.. it was nice.. Last good cry: was probably over something stupid like my dad Last library book checked out: The diary of something? Last movie seen: The Notebook Last beverage drank: water Last food consumed: ice cream Last crush: ? umm you know every boy I come in contact with Last phone call: my mom Last time showered: yesterday morning Last shoes worn: black vans Last cd played: faith hill Last item bought: 25 cent fruit snacks Last annoyance: jeff at work Last disappointment: my mom Last shirt worn: Georgia racing t shirt Last website visited: livejournal Last word/s you said: “hmmmm” Last song you sang: my happy ending- avril What color socks are you wearing? Ones white and ones white and grey What color of underwear are you wearing? Red and blue super sarah What's under your bed? Everything! What time did you wake up today? 7:08
.FUTURE . Where do you want to go? Salve Regina What is your career going to be? Cop/dessert specialist Where are you going to live? Rhode island probably What kind of car(s): jetta
.CURRENT . Current mood: tired Current music: faith hill Current taste: milky Current hair: up and red Current clothes: shorts and a tshirt Current annoyance(s): none Current desktop picture: sunset Current book: “catcher in the rye” Current color of toenails: pink/normal Current hate: friends lol (X) - you've done (_) - you haven't done (_) been drunk (_) been high (X) kissed a member of the opposite sex (_) kissed a member of the same sex (_) crashed a friend's car (into my friend) (_) been to Japan (X) ridden in a taxi (X) been dumped (_) been fired or laid off (X) been in a fist fight (X) snuck out of my parent's house (_) ever had a crush on someone of the same sex (_) ever dated someone of the same sex (X) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back (_) been arrested (_) made out with a stranger (XXX) stole something from my job (_) celebrated new years in time square (X) gone on a blind date (_) had a crush on a teacher (_) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans (_) been to Europe (_) skipped school (_) cut myself on purpose (_) been married (_) gotten divorced (_) had children (_) seen someone die. (_) been to Africa. (X) Punched a friend (X) Been to Canada (X) Been to Mexico (X) Been on a plane (_) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show (_) Thrown up in a bar (_) Purposely set a part of myself on fire (_) Eaten Sushi (X) Been Snowboarding (X) Met someone in person from the internet (X) Been moshing at a concert (_) had real feelings for someone you knew only online (_) been in an abusive relationship (_) been pregnant or got someone pregnant (_) lost a child (_) gone to college (_) graduated college (_) had sexual intercourse of any kind (_) tried killing yourself (X) taken painkillers (X) love someone or miss someone right now
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
| thing |
|
|
| 10:44pm 27/09/2004 |
| |
mood:  crappy music: this is over
|
Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: brand new
Are you female or male:: the quiet things that no one ever knows
Describe yourself:: mix tape
How do some people feel about you:: failure by design
How do you feel about yourself:: Good to know that if i ever need attention all i have to do is die
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: secondary
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: am i wrong?
Describe where you want to be:: the shower scene
Describe what you want to be:: sudden death in carolina
Describe how you live:: the no seatbelt song
Describe how you love:: seventy times 7
Share a few words of wisdom:: okay i believe you but my tommy gun dont |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| word |
|
|
| 08:39pm 25/09/2004 |
| |
mood:  calm music: you were all the things i though i knew
|
holla at proulx!
not much is new. havent seen julie, liz, bri, mat, nate, tony, croche, ryan, or any of them lately.. most of them are busy with their own life. as for me, all i do is work. and when im not working... no one knows im not working or they're busy. i guess im a bum? i went out with josh the other day to get shoes, but found none. me and jess are planign a trip to uri. it shall be fun. other than this, i have no life, i just sit online lol.. its terrible. im over it though. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| proulx! |
|
|
| 11:57pm 21/09/2004 |
| |
mood:  blah music: i threw it all away
|
GaMeWiZaRd428 (11:56:00 PM): no shit, fuck falling in love, i just wanna watch me some tv and get drunk
amen |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| :) sooooo |
|
|
| 10:41pm 10/09/2004 |
| |
|
mood: lifeless music: the joys of tony on guitar and teddy on bass
|
i havent really updated in a while. no time really. all i do is work adn school and occasionally mat and nates for like an hour. no one reads this anyway, i dont know why i write. maybe i just right so i know that i have some sort of life or feelings? im not sure.. i havent really seen liz.. i talked to this cool kid today, forgot his name. i hung out with elementary school friends, cassondra and missy and i called jj but he didnt call me back like he said he would. i was supposed to get a ride with him after school, but i walked away. it was weird. i went out with adam tonight. we won 2 hot 106 t shirts. it was cool. we saw best kept secret and got free pictures. ill post them some day. i quit band. but i saw jonny today. it was good to see him. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| eww.. |
|
|
| 09:52pm 02/09/2004 |
| |
mood:  frustrated music: check ch check chech ch check it out..
|
what a day. shaleigh is now officially a manager.. wooo hooo.. NOT.. god, i dunno what im gonna do.. i think its time to go job hunting. no offence.
school was ok.. i had no friends .. as usual.. didnt bother me much though.. i knew it would be like that this year. this year is my lonesome year. i wish i went to cumberland.. id be so much easier to make new friends.. maybe.. im making a 30helensAGREE fan site. you should check it out when im done. ill post the link at a later date. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| wooot! |
|
|
| 11:25pm 29/08/2004 |
| |
|
mood: chizzily music: im breakin the habit tonight.
|
so check out the background. its hot. i know.
me and karen made a pretty sick rap tonight about mcdonalds. KAREN:mcdonalds is good mcdonalds is neat mcdonalds is where we like 2 eat. stupid people n their eating disorders screw them ill give mickey ds my order. 1 biG maC n a super size fry go thru the dirve thru or maybe go inside. shakes so thick ya gotta suck hard buy a meal well stamp ur card. SARAH:a-yo listen up.. here we go here we go mcdonalds is the place we give food 2 ur face.. well even let u eat it at ur very own pace. What? u say u need a drink with that? the salads are healthy theyll keep u from gettin fat. the chickin selects kid theyre hot, oh man those selects, they really hit the spot. dolla menu what up with that? its sure to start a conversation maybe even a chat.. time 4 dessert? this playa over here he really looks hurt. ice cream apple pies yes sir id like that super sized.
moms not home again tonight. no wild parties, crap i don even have friends tongiht. watched the vmas alone. thought about the same thing over and over again. i dont get how you can miss a person so much even if you havent talked to them in forever. absence does make the heart grow fonder i guess.. but still im left with no one. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| just want to c what this is about.. |
|
|
| 11:06pm 28/08/2004 |
| |
mood:  cold music: i want to watch you dream some more
|
01. I miss somebody right now. TRUE 02. I don't watch much TV these days. TRUE 03. I love black olives. TRUE 04. I love sleeping.TRUE 05. I own lots of books.TRUE 06. I wear glasses or contact lenses.FALSE 07. I love to play video games. FALSE 08. I've smoked pot.FALSE 09. I've watched porn. ONLY EVERYTIME IM WITH LIZ.. haha jk 10. I have been in a threesome FALSE 11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. FALSE 12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy. TRUE 13. I have acne free skin. FALSE 14. I like and respect Al Sharpton. FALSE-WHO? 15. I curse frequently. FALSE 16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. TRUE 17. I have a hobby.TRUE 18. I like to dance.FALSE 19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. --HEHE I JUST GO IT-SO TRUE 20. I'm really, really smart TRUE 21. I've never broken someone's bones. TRUE 22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.TRUE! 23. I hate the rain. FALSE 24. I'm paranoid at times.TRUE 25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scars .FALSE 26. I need money right now! FALSE 27. I love Sushi. FALSE 28. I talk really, really fast.FALSE 29. I have fresh breath in the morning.FALSE 30. I have semi-long hair FALSE 31. I have lost money in Las Vegas. FALSE 32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister. TRUE 33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S. FALSE 34. I shave my legs on a regular basis. FALSE 35. I have a twin. FALSE 36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.FALSE 37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. TRUE- I CANT 38. I like the way i look. FALSE 39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months. FALSE 40. I know how to do cornrows. FALSE 41. I am usually pessimistic.TRUE 42. I have a lot of mood swings.TRUE! 43. I think prostitution should be legalized. FALSE 44. I think Britney Spears is hot. TRUE 45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past. FALSE 46. I have a hidden talent. FALSE 47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. FALSE 48. I think that I'm popular. FALSES 49. I am currently single. TRUE 50. I have kissed someone of the same sex. PECKS TRUE 51. I enjoy talking on the phone only if its someone i want to talk to.FALSE 52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. TRUE 53. I love to shop. TRUE 54. I would rather shop than eat. FALSE 55. I would classify myself as ghetto. FALSE 56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders. FALSE 57. I'm obsessed with Livejournal. TRUE 58. I don't hate anyone. TRUE 59. I'm a pretty good dancer. FALSE! but i can skank it up pretty awesome, that counts right? <-OMG THAts ME! 60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington FALSE 61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. FALSE 62. I have a cell phone. TRUE 63. I believe in (a) god. TRUE 64. I watch MTV on a daily basis. TRUE AND VH1 65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. FALSE. 66. I love drama. FALSE 67. I have never been in a real relationship before. TRUE 68. I've rejected someone before. TRUE 69. I currently have a crush on someone. but i wouldnt call it a crush TRUE 71. I want to have children in the future.TRUE 72. I have changed a diaper before. FALSE 73. I've called the cops on a friend before. FALSE 74. I bite my nails. TRUE 75. I am a member of the Napoleon Dynamite fan club. FALSE 76. I'm not allergic to anything that i know of. TRUE 77. I have a lot to learn.TRUE 78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger. FALSE 79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie. TRUE 80. I am very shy around the opposite sex. FALSE 81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message usually. TRUE 82. I have at least 5 away messages saved. TRUE 83. I have tried alcohol or drugs.TRUE BUT NOT TO GET DRUNK. NO DRUGS. CAPICHINO. 84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past. TRUE 85. I own the "South Park" movie. FALSE 86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal FALSE 87. When I was a kid I played "doctor" "house" with a neighbor or friend. TRUE 88. I enjoy some country music. TRUE 90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. TRUE 91. I watch soap operas whenever I can. FALSE 92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist. FALSE 93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career. FALSE 94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all. FALSE 95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story". FALSE 96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. TRUE 97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it. FALSE 98. I have dated a close friend's ex. FALSE 99. I'M HAPPY AS OF THIS MOMENT. TRUE
-WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: PINK! -WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?: TALKING TO KAREN.. MADD LOVE -WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU DID?: TYPED <3 OH MAN.. -WHAT IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU?: the THE FOOTON -WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU WENT OUT TO EAT WITH: MYSELF. MCDONALDS -IF U WERE A TOY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?: ID BE A BOP IT WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON?: DOESNT MATTER. AS LONG AS IM WITH MY HONEY. -HOWS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? ITS HOT. BUT IM IN CENTRAL AIR. SO GOOD. -LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE TO ON THE PHONE: JULIE. -LAST PERSON WHO TEXTED YOU: B-UNIT -LAST PERSON YOU TEXT: CANT TEXT SO PROBABLY LIZ WHEN I COULD -WHATS YOUR RING TONE?: GET THAT DIRT OFF YOUR SHOULDER. -HAIR?: RED. FALLS OUT. -WHAT R U WEARING RIGHT NOW?: PJ PANTS AND A ABANDON POOLS SHIRT. -DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?: NO -WHAT SCHOOL DO YOU ATTEND? LINCOLN -WHAT WAS THE BEST ADVICE EVER GIVEN TO YOU?: I DUNNO. -DO U OWN A VEHICLE?: NO.. -WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE PLANS? COP. -FAVE DAY OF THE YEAR?: FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. -DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE?: NO -ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK ANYONE OUT:I THINK SO -DO YOU SLEEP NAKED?: NOPE. FULLY CLOTHED -WHAT IS THE MOST STUPID THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE? JUMPED IN THE POOL WITH CLOTHS ON.. UMM WALKED HOME IN THE RAIN.. -DO YOU LIKE SCARY OR HAPPY MOVIES?: BOTH -CHRISTMAS OR EASTER?: CHRISTMAS -COLOR ARE YOUR PAJAMAS: THE ONES IM WEARING! -WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: WHEN YOURVE BEEN FRIENDS SO LONG THAT YOU CANT GO PAST THAT POINT TO BECOME SOMETHING ELSE -WORST SOUND?: SILENCE -WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?: ITS A WONDERFUL DAY, OR CRAP IM LATE FOR WORK AGAIN, OR WHAT TIME IS IT. -ROLLER COASTER, SCARY OR EXCITING?: EXCITING -HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU LET THE PHONE RING BEFORE YOU ANSWER IT?: TWO -ZODIAC SIGN: CANCER [CRAB] -IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?: HALF FULL -FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE: SMILE -MILK, WHITE OR CHOCOLATE?: WHITE -ROOT BEER OR DOCTOR PEPPER: ROOT BEER -SKIING OR BOARDING?: BOARDING -DAY OR NIGHT?: NIGHT -SUMMER OR WINTER?: WINTER -CAKE OR PIE?: CAKE -SILVER OR GOLD??: SILVER -DIAMONDS OR PEARLS?: DIAMONDs -SUNRISE OR SUNSET?: BOTH -HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A BONE?: YES -DO YOU HATE ANYONE?: NO -DO YOU BELIEVE IN FIGHTING?: NAH -WHAT DO YOU DREAM ABOUT?: EX BOYFRIENDS -DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: ONLY SINCE THIRD GRADE -WHO DO YOU TURN TO FOR ADVICE? NO ONE LISTENS LONG ENOUGH TO GET ME ADVICE -WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO SHOP: I DONT SHOP -DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED: YES [F a v o r i t e s] -COLOR: RED -SONG: YELLOWCARD- ROCKET -ANIMALS?: PENGUINS [HAVE YOU EVER] -GIVEN SOMEONE A BATH: YEAH -BROKEN THE LAW??:YEAH -GONE SKINNY DIPPING?: NOPE -KISSED SOMEONE: YES -BEEN ONLINE FOR OVER 3 DAYS? NO [FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND] -ZEBRA: STRIPES -SOCKS: MISMATCHED -DUMB: JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH -HOUSE: BED -WOMEN: OLD -MEN: HANDSOME -COW: HUH |
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|